Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Disney and Pornography: A Match Made in a Confessional

An ode to Beck's genius: who else has poured out fantastic album after fantastic album with the same panache? Before you get all up in arms about this, and start listing the many artists who've done the same exact thing (Radiohead, Norah Jones, Miles Davis, the Flecktones, Tool, etc), please note that I only wrote that last sentence to use the word "panache." It tickles me. Like a priest.

But anyhow, on to bigger and better things. First off is a contribution from good ol' Sideburns, who alerted me to a startling news story about the erotic/shocking day that saw the Disney Channel accidentally air pornorgraphy. Evidently, some very young kids learned about some very adult things. Then again, if it were feminine pornography the kids would have learned about communication, respect, self-sacrifice, and the underground male anal sex culture. Reason #11231230909831209587 to hate radical feminism.

And if that wasn't bad enough, New York is enduring an abjectly depressing sports period: first, the Rangers and Devils were eliminated from the hockey playoffs on consecutive days. Then the Yankees announced that they were paying $4.5 million A MONTH for a nearly-45-year-old Roger Clemens to pitch once every five days. His contract includes a clause allowing him to fly home to Texas in between starts. It also includes a compulsory blowjob clause and a full-body-massage player option for 2008. And if THAT wasn't bad enough, the Nets went down 0-2 to 'Bron's Cleveland Cavaliers last night, a loss replete with the first "Vince Carter goes down with a suspect, apocryphal injury as soon as the going gets rough" moment with a couple of minutes left in last night's game, when his leg mysteriously "cramped up" with the Nets down by a few and the contest getting further out of reach. If the Nets do not get rid of him in a sign-and-trade this offseason, or even let him walk as a free agent, I will force the team's brass to watch 1,000 hours of feminist pornography.

One last thing: Ginny told me that Adam, a mutual friend of ours, started a music blog. You can access it at eatmysemiticmember.com. OK, OK--you can find it at http://acaplan1226.blogspot.com. I'm not happy about this, though. Why would I be? I'm not one of those, "Oh, I think it's so great we both write! No, seriously, it's such a treat to meet somebody who also blogs about music! Why don't we make out sometime?" types of people. You think I like competition? Please. The music blogger market is so crowded as it is that I have to talk about Disney porn, sports, and other peoples' blogs to stay relevant. So thanks, Adam, for doing me such a service. You will not be forgotten. By your priest.


Stay Saturated, Blogosphere,
DJ Despises Competition

1 comment:

Dan said...

I have not read it in a while, but that was a good story about the Disney channel that type of moment is in fight club there are also interesting urban myths that when you freeze moments in kids films there is something slipped in or upside down or in the window or something.