I'm dissapointed in everybody. In Steve Jobs, Apple co-founder, for discontinuing the only Mac-compatible webcam. In the Eastern seaboard, for pelting us with rain (again) after teasing us with three nice days (again). In Oscar Mayer, for turning down my application to be a Weiner. I wish I were one. And especially in NASCAR, just for existing.
If there is anyone who is above reproach, it's the guy who occupies myspace.com/radiohead. I don't know who he is, but he's completely amazing for myriad reasons. Not only did he usurp a webpage that should rightfully belong to the band Radiohead, but it's impossible to tell who he is. The page is a big, anonymous homage to art and music, not to mention pictures of guys wearing shorts and smoking on top of a hearse. G-D bless your soul, whoever you are.
There are two other people who get free passes today. They will both go unnamed for the sake of their privacy (well, except for one of them: Israeli bassist Avishai Cohen). One person gets a neutral, although if I wasn't in such an agitated state they'd probably be in the good with me. This is the person who brightened up my day yesterday by telling me that getting a real job doesn't necessarily mean getting a conventional job. As in, you can work a legitimate position without submitting to the 9-5 cubicle culture. I thought that was very heartening, and I felt enlightened after hearing it.
If you aren't on that list, you should be ashamed of yourself. And if you're already ashamed of yourself, you should be even more ashamed after reading this. I, for one, am vastly ashamed of myself--I haven't shaved in two days, I haven't started the book I promised to write a year ago, I've wrtten way too much about Justin Timberlake (and I'm ashamed of myself for not being ashamed of myself), I've seen every Ali G/Borat/Bruno clip on YouTube at least three times, I got duped on a cheap bottle of crappy scotch, I curse too often, I haven't graduated yet, I'm bad at keeping in touch with people, and I haven't picked up the book I'm reading in over a week.
I am a big sack of humiliated. And drunk.
Stay Shameful, San Diego