Friday, February 23, 2007

Alternate Spiritual Dimensions (Jewish Recipes)

Cholent is a semetic food that is wholly brown. Its ingredients don't all start out brown, but the beans, barley, potatoes, meat, and remaining miscellaneous parts all get that way in an overnight crock pot process. To eat cholent on a saturday is, for many Jews, the gateway to spirituality and obesity, the two being roughly the same on many planes. However, this saturday's lunch featured far from the average cholent. We don't play games with our brown foods in far rockaway.
The festivities really started on friday morning, when a good friend who lives in israel came back to visit jersey. having left queens at 6:30 in the morning with a book, an ipod, a few tshirts, and some booze, i made it to teaneck a little after 8 to say hello to my devoutly religious friend, who alternately chided and praised me for my observance's decline. not to be outdone, i made fun of his outmoded sense of style and rusty english.
From teaneck the party went to west orange, a strange place in slightly-above-central new jersey, where every house looks like every other house and the pasty-white residents apparently live within a forcefield that keeps their skin pale even during the summer.
Then we hit far rockaway, where the crowd was fierce. Dozens of crackheads, some named chester, others lanolin, flocked to a particular home just off the nassau expressway, where the most hardened of juvenile delinquents are emolliated by home cooking and pharmaceuticals. Not to be outdone, my party binged on cholent and chicken and pasta and beer and jack and jonnie and cranberry soufflet and cake and corned beef and lust no wait scratch that last one. The ringleader of all this was a certain Avi Shimon Christoferson, who has been referenced in this blog before but never in a cholent context, which is a mistake, in retrospect, since the cholent context is the only one in which his spirituality and persona take on a crucial third dimension. And, to anyone reading this who knows him, let me just say this: i smoked more pot in tsfat that method man smokes on tour. I know--method and me weighed it out at my pad, and i outtoked him by 4 ounces, 7 grams, and a tiny bit of shake that we hit in my bubbler.
the best way to get high all the time is NOT to tour with a rapper. do something good for your soul and go to tsfat. plus, do you really think any rapper has a great hash hookup? they probably don't, but i do, and he wears a white wardrobe on the sabbath and doesn't smoke from sundown on friday until the stars are out on saturday night. That's how he rolls, baby, and Mr. Christopherson can explain why the next time you're in Far Rockaway. Just take the 878 to Broadway, roll down the window, let the blunt hang out in the air for a few seconds, and Mr. Christopherson will find you.

Stay loose all of Europe,
MC evening delight

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