Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Wyclef Jean

this is my second entry in recent times concerning a hip-hop artist, but this one is much more germane to today's cultural climate, since tupac is dead. wyclef is a human waffle machine metaphor. if memory serves, this is also the second time i've used the word "waffle" in a blog, but that statistic is inconsequentially mundane.

wyclef is a human waffle machine because you can fill him with batter, heat him up, and in five minutes he will produce the most evenly corrugated product. throw him any beat, any opening line, and he'll make it like brakes at meineke.

such is life, though. there are those of us who have special skills that either wither or waste, and there are others with special skills that ride the small bus to school. however, it takes a waffle maker to succeed. if life threw wyclef lemons, he'd make lemon waffles. that's just the way he is, regardless of whether he is with the fugees or going solo. remember lauryn hill? after her "miseducation," neither does the rest of the world. but wyclef is still all over the charts like black ink, he cameos on chappelle's show (rest in peace, my telesonic brother), and, if you haven't noticed, he is the cog in hip hop's machinery that ensures that country music will never, ever, ever sell more records than dub.

should we all be a little more like wyclef? i don't know. there are some absolutely disturbing idiosychrasies in his personality--why does he look bored all the time? why is someone with so much fame, money, and adoration so implacably upset about everything? why does he think that he still needs to do showtime at the appollo?

its quite troubling to surmise that wyclef is stupid--hell, even the most skilled songwriters weren't always known for their acumen--but his peculiarities lend themselves to an intelligence quotient somewhere below mensa-esque. but he is not, however, a pawn. everyone in mensa who works for a corporation is dumber than wyclef, since, in his apparent stupidity, he is more likely to release an album called "cubicle" than he is to sit in one.

Stay outside the box, Wyclef,

MC i'll turntable for you if you give me a chance please i'll make you richer

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