Friday, February 23, 2007

I'm a Total Douchebag

I was all prepared to launch some sort of e-extravaganza to celebrate my 100th blog, some depraved combination of self-celebration and loathing, the sort of thing that insecure monarchs would do to commemorate a significant year of their rule: eat a turkey, behead a wife, sleep with some concubines, impale somebody in the public squre; you know, the usual. So when I got to 99, I started thinking of things I could do, but my mercurial mid-term memory betrayed me once again, and I actually posted number 100 without realizing. This is number 101, and since number 100 went so unceremoniously, number 101 has to be a little more introspective.
So here goes....

What i've learned through all this writing is that everything has a multi-faceted capacity: blogging, just like everything else, achieves many purposes in myriad arenas, but it took this oft-inane, less-oft-insightful posting universe to bring that to light. All at once, blogging could express a thought, help waste time at work, obnoxiously advertise for articles published in some newspaper, and/or a million other fledgling and disparate purposes. The key, though, was to realize that blogging (and all myspace/facebook/friendster/satan communication) simply represents an isolated, micro-example for what webster might term multi-funcionality.

More importantly, i've learned that no one really gives a crap about what i have to say. Nay, strike that---no one really gives a crap about what I--me, personally--have to say. Information's source is immaterial compared to its validity, and it was, and remains, heartening to see that i only got positive responses for the things that were undeniably substantive. there's no reason that anything I convey should be weighed more carefully than anyone else's utterances, and myspace bore that out. people gave a crap about WHAT i had to say--assuming, of course, that it was give-a-crap-worthy. if it wasn't (and i want to eat a cynanide sundae rather than contemplate how often that might have been), then no one gave two shits. and rightfully so; kudos to an acute audience.

third, i have to thank my friend monica, who is poetically, ironically, most probably never going to read this. why the thanks, then? because she showed me what myspace blogging was, and the first few were really just for her amusement. but once people started reading it, the blog expanded into the multinational, baby-killing, tuxedo-wearing, tax-evading conglomerate that it is today.
however, just to trace things back to where they truly began, to the dawn of an era, i hearken back to a day this past february or march--i'm not exactly sure--at about 10:15 in the morning. it was either a monday or a wednesday, beacuse those were the days i had english class at baruch with evelyn, who took me to the computer lab that fateful day and signed me up for myspace. so big shout outs to my main women, fo rall, booyakasha, respeck.

so where do we go from here? so many have asked that question--neil armstrong and buzz lightyear after they finished moon-walking, michael jackson and little boy x when they finished playing twister, U2 after the joshua tree, tommy lee after he got out of jail, K-Fed after britney (answer: the bank, beeyotch), bill nye after science lost its verve, the mets this year after (yet again) excreting a huge, steaming, game 7 pile of shit on their fans. And the list goes on....
but the answer here is that this blog isn't going anywhere. i quit my job a couple of weeks ago, so i have more time than ever to sit in my bathrobe and type while i take scotch from the mock gas pump sitting in my house. there will be less motivation to vent, since my work was a major source of aggravation, but i'm trying to launch a music journalism career, so there will be much failure to mourn, to be sure. i just want to create the possibility that every once in a while i'll be able to sit down, relate an idea, and await the inevitable silence that follows all bad writing. and for that i'm most thankful, and partially inebriated.

Stay loyal, dj blogger readership
DJ overestimating his popularity

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