Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Feeling Very Grand

It's been a long few months at work: we've been suing, negotiating, and ruining lives long before, and ever since, I came on board in September '05. So I started writing blogs just to shield myself from my own employment; the logic goes, if I'm writing about irrelevant psychoanalytic babble, at least I'm not helping to repossess an old lady's walker.

All of which goes to say that I was shocked when I saw that this blog has had over 1,000 readers. Currently, it's at 1063 and counting, and there's really no end in sight, since blogging has become my journalistic masturbation, and there are always going to be more old ladies with artificial limbs.

But I got to thinking just now that for all 1,063 who've read this piece of crap, there must have been better ways to spend their time. Don't get me wrong: I'm grateful that you're reading my shit, but Neutron-A is grateful that you buy crystal meth from him. And we all know how that went for you. Here's an abbreviated list of things you could have done with your three minutes instead of read my blog:

pet 200 dogs

eaten 15% of snowcone

watched 3 minutes of real sex live on demand

listened to half of a Stewie Griffin rant

made/missed 30 basketball shots

found out your kid brother is addicted to porn

looked up and memorized the correct spelling of "connosieur"--it's definitely not that

learned, forgotten, and remembered the words to the entire britney spears catalogue

that said, keep on reading. I'm only getting more bored and immoral.

stay tuned in san diego,

mc gunboat

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