The high holidays are coming up really, really soon, and with them comes the annual unpleasantness of finding a valid-seeming excuse to keep away from home, while at the same time pursuing something that is meaningful with which to occupy myself. I dont mean to sound like myself, but its getting increasingly hard, yet strangely easy in the right circumstances, to find something meaningful. A few factors contribute to anythings meaning, like mindset, mood, intention, that things content, and externals (who youre with, the weather, etc).
So its very difficult to plan ahead for meaningfulness. how can anyone say, with any degree of credibility, that on a certain day, at a certain time, and in a certain place, one will experience meaning? Sounds like bullshit to me, especially since, like I said above, certain things that are usually meaningful (music, friends, booze, pick your vice) can arbitrarily and inexplicably lose it. Meanwhile, I went rollerblading tonight and thought I saw God. Go figure.
Which brings me back to the high holidays. Synagogue is cruel and unusual, along the lines of castration, and fasting/not showering achieves two ends: making me hungry and making me want to shower. Should I go rollerblading? Do some coke? Sleep with somebody? All of those carry more meaning for my tarnished soul than religions typical conventions, but are comically inappropriate, like showing up naked to your best friend's wedding: you know you'll have a good time, but your friend might be offended.
Im really open to suggestions; this is more of a plea than a blog. Does anyone have any ideas? Or, better yet, is anyone doing something recreationally appropriate over the high holidays, preferably miles and miles and miles from the nearest prayer service?
Stay sinful san diego,
MC I will amass weapons of mass destruction and see what the bush administration does about it
Ps PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE nobody send me something about how I can better experience synagogue. You dont think I already thought of that?