Wednesday, February 21, 2007

The Real Way to Feel Pain

My favorite website is, which is the most kickass resource for ninja movie scripts, ninja t-shirts, and general pirate-breast knowledge. One interesting thing that the site's perverted 12-year-old designer continually implies is that pain is kickass. For instance, he says that committing "seppuku"--suicide by swallowing a folded frisbee--is both self-destructive and glorious.
He's obviously right. There's no way to feel pain, as far as the thinking man is concerned, than to feel it happily. Encountering suffering is unavoidable, but being hurt is counter-productive and socially unacceptable. Don't get me wrong: this isn't a pitch for masochism. That will be the subject of my next column, "I like to defile myself." But meanwhile, there are millions of people out there with an unhealthily depressed attitude towards pain. We have to take this to streets, post signs about it, and organize pep rallys in every local gymnasium money can refurbish. As long as pain makes you happy, your contentedness is guaranteed.

Stay classy san diego,
DJ Blogger

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